The Privilege of Failing: Why It’s Okay to Not Have Everything Figured Out Yet

You know that feeling when you’re just starting something new—whether it’s a career, a project, or even a side hustle—and you don’t have all the answers? The uncertainty, the self-doubt, the pressure to “figure it out” before you even begin? Yeah, I’ve been there too. I recently had a chat with a younger colleague who’s just starting his journey, and we ended up talking about this idea: the privilege of failing when you’re young.

Now, I know, failure often gets a bad rap. We think it’s the worst thing that can happen. But what if I told you that failure, especially when you’re young, is actually one of the best things you can experience? It’s not something to be feared or avoided—it’s a privilege. And it’s something we often take for granted.

What I’ve Learned Over the Years: Failure Is the Best Teacher

Looking back at my own journey—whether it’s through med school, building this platform, or any of my other endeavors—I can say with confidence that the best lessons didn’t come from my successes. Nope. They came from my failures. The times I stumbled, took a wrong turn, or made a huge mistake, that’s where the real growth happened.

If I could give my younger self one piece of advice, it would be: don’t be afraid of failure. In fact, seek it out. You’re going to fail. A lot. And that’s absolutely fine. If you don’t, you’re probably not pushing yourself hard enough.

This idea is echoed in The Defining Decade by Meg Jay. She talks about how the 20s are a crucial time to explore, experiment, and even fail. What I love about this book is how Jay frames failure as part of the journey, not the end of it. The 20s are not about having everything figured out—it’s about learning what works, what doesn’t, and giving yourself permission to fail without judgement.

The Privilege of Failing When You’re Young

Here’s something most people don’t realize: failure is actually a privilege, especially when you’re young. You have time. Time to mess up, pivot, and recalibrate without the weight of societal expectations bearing down on you. Yet, so many of us are conditioned to believe that we should have everything figured out by a certain age. Whether it’s career, relationships, or life in general, we see these milestones and think we have to hit them perfectly.

But here’s the thing—failing early and often is a gift. You can afford to make mistakes without the same stakes as someone further along in their career. You’re learning, adapting, and refining your approach. It’s the perfect time to experiment with different ideas, paths, and ways of thinking.

This idea reminds me of The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. Tolle encourages us to live fully in the present moment and accept where we are right now. It’s easy to get caught up in worries about the future—especially when we feel like we need to be “successful” by a certain age. But true success doesn’t come from constantly chasing the next thing. It comes from being present and embracing the learning process, failures included.

The Unfair Advantage: Not Everyone Has the Same Privilege

But here's something we can't ignore: not everyone has the same privilege when it comes to failure.

While failure can be a privilege, not everyone has the same safety net to fall back on. Some people are born into circumstances where they have the “unfair advantage” of financial or familial support. If they fail, they have a network to help them bounce back. They can take risks without the same consequences because they know they have people and resources that will catch them when they fall.

In contrast, for many, failure isn’t just a temporary setback—it’s a real, tangible risk. It’s the difference between having time to experiment and running out of options. Many people don’t have the luxury of making mistakes without facing severe consequences. The reality is, for some, failing early can lead to financial strain, emotional stress, or the added burden of societal expectations that can feel impossible to meet.

This is a point highlighted in Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell, where he discusses how certain individuals have “unfair advantages” simply based on the circumstances they were born into. For some, those advantages include supportive families, financial backing, or even access to better education or connections. These advantages give them a cushion when they fail, allowing them to recover more quickly than someone who doesn’t have those privileges.

It’s important to acknowledge this disparity because, while failure is a privilege for many, it’s not an equal one. Some of us have to work harder to make the same mistakes and learn from them. And that’s okay—just something to keep in mind as we talk about embracing failure.

Not Having Everything Figured Out Is Totally Fine

Here’s the most important thing I’ve learned: it’s completely fine to not have everything figured out. I know, I know—it’s hard to accept, especially with the pressure to be constantly improving and ticking off life’s boxes. But let me tell you: not having a clear path is actually the path.

It’s totally okay to not know exactly what you want to do with your life today. It’s okay to still be figuring things out. In fact, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fck* by Mark Manson nails this. Manson talks about how we often spend too much time obsessing over the “perfect” future, which ultimately robs us of the present moment. There’s so much freedom in accepting the fact that it’s all a work in progress. You don’t need to have everything mapped out.

One of the greatest things I did for myself was to stop worrying about having it all figured out. I started embracing the idea that it’s okay to not have every answer, and just focus on moving forward. Success isn’t about having the perfect plan from the get-go; it’s about taking small steps and trusting that things will unfold as they’re meant to.

Failing Isn’t an Obstacle, It’s Part of the Process

If you look at anyone who’s achieved success, you’ll notice a common thread: they failed, a lot. But failure wasn’t a setback—it was part of their journey. Steve Jobs got kicked out of Apple, but those failures set him up for his incredible comeback. In Steve Jobs by Walter Isaacson, we learn how failure was a key component in Jobs’ evolution as a leader. Every failure led him to refine his vision, sharpen his focus, and ultimately change the tech industry forever.

The key takeaway here is that failure isn’t the end. It’s part of the process. It’s where the magic happens. If you fail early, you get to fail cheaply—without too much consequence—and you learn from it. The sooner you accept this, the faster you’ll grow.

So, What’s the Takeaway?

To everyone reading this, especially those just starting out: it’s okay to fail. It’s okay to not know exactly where you’re headed right now. You’ve got time. The privilege of failing when you’re young is something that so many people overlook. They think they need to have it all figured out, but the truth is, that’s part of the illusion. No one has it figured out. They’re just learning along the way.

So, embrace the failures. Use them to learn and grow. Don’t rush to the destination—enjoy the process, even the mistakes. They’re what will get you to where you need to go.

The path to success is rarely straight. And that’s exactly how it should be.