From Overthinking to Clarity: When You Seem Stuck Between Seasons
The other day, I caught up with an old friend — one of those rare conversations that gets deep without trying too hard. At one point, he said something that really stuck with me: “You seem like you’ve got it all figured out. I feel so lost.”
I smiled, but the truth is… I don’t. Not really.
And it made me think — how often do we assume everyone else has a roadmap, while we’re stumbling in the dark with no GPS? So in this post, I wanted to unpack that moment — the illusion of having it all together, and why it’s okay (even normal) to feel lost sometimes.
For the longest time, I believed that finding my life’s purpose meant discovering something big, something grand, and something that would last forever. But recently, I realized that life doesn’t work that way.
You see, I’ve been in a new season. And with that new season has come a shift in how I think about purpose. The goals I once chased no longer feel aligned with who I am today. And instead of feeling lost, I’ve started to feel... okay with that.
In fact, reading Essentialism by Greg McKeown helped me understand that clarity isn’t about having everything figured out. It’s about doing less, but better. The idea isn’t to keep adding more things to your life but to focus on what truly matters and eliminate what doesn’t.
At the same time, The Pathless Path by Paul Millerd really hit home for me with the idea of the arrival fallacy. This is the belief that once you achieve something — whether it's a job, a degree, or a milestone — you’ll finally feel fulfilled. But the truth is, fulfillment doesn’t magically appear when you reach a destination. It’s in the journey itself. And sometimes, the arrival you’re chasing doesn’t exist. You’ve already arrived.
And then came Tiny Experiments by Anne-Laure Le Cunff, which helped me realize that life doesn’t need to be one big, perfectly planned-out project. Instead, I’m experimenting—small, intentional experiments. And guess what? It feels so much more freeing.
What To Do When Your Life Purpose Feels Unclear
If you’re in a season where your purpose feels like it’s shifting or unclear, here’s what I’m learning so far:
1. Let Go of the Pressure to "Figure It Out."
We’ve been told that we need to have a clear, defined purpose to live a meaningful life. But life doesn’t always work like that. Sometimes, it’s about experimenting, trying new things, and seeing what sticks. So, instead of stressing over finding the perfect purpose, allow yourself to explore and play with different paths.
2. Focus on the Essential.
Essentialism taught me that the key isn’t doing more; it’s doing less but better. So, rather than chasing after a dozen new goals, focus on the few things that truly matter to you. What do you enjoy? What brings you energy? Invest more time in those things and let go of the rest.
3. Embrace the Journey, Not the Destination.
I spent so much time chasing the “end goal”—the perfect job, the ideal lifestyle, the sense of finally “arriving.” But as The Pathless Path points out, fulfillment is not waiting for us at the end of some arbitrary destination. It's in the present moment, in the process. So rather than waiting for some big breakthrough, I’m learning to enjoy the small steps along the way.
4. Run Tiny Experiments.
Instead of feeling like you need to have everything figured out, why not just experiment? Tiny Experiments made me realize that I don’t need to commit to huge, life-altering decisions right away. I can try things out, test new habits, or explore new interests. And guess what? It’s not a failure if it doesn’t work out—it’s just data for the next experiment.
So, when life’s purpose feels unclear, and you’re in a new season of change, remember: you don’t have to have it all figured out right now.
Purpose isn’t a final destination. It’s an ongoing process—one experiment, one step, one small choice at a time.
And in this process, you’ll start to realize that you don’t have to chase “the perfect life.” You need to start with what’s right for you, right now.
